What if...?

You know those great scenerio games that we all love to play? "What if this? What if that?" Don't deny it. You've all done it (or my name is Bob Barker. Which it's not.). Sometimes there's this other great game that me and a few of my companions like to play that's called, "What if we all taught at a superhero school?"

Well, this is a great new version of that game. It's called, "What if the characters of Action Jones all taught at the Battler Fighter Academy?" What classes would they teach?

Professor Insanity? Dr. Chief, perhaps? It's a great game. No, really, it is.

Oh, pick me! I want to play!!!

Hmmm....first class: Botany with Dr. The Chief. He loves those plants and trees and leaves so much (they're wonderful) that he probably knows a lot about them. Every battler slash fighter should know his plants after all.

Hmm...thinking of more.

Ah, good one.

But, needless to say, every battler fighter is also in need of another set of skills. Skills of the rhythmic sort.

That's right, our very own Insanity Tim probably has a PHD (Psycho Happy Dancer) in dance. Jig 101.Introduction to the Bounce, Frolic, Skip, and Twirl. Call it what you might, but with out these essential skills, our battler and fighters would have very dull intermissions.

Oh well, I'd say the rhythmic movement studio would be under the watchful eye of Proffesor Insanity. He just loves those dance moves and I know he'd enjoy passing them on to up and coming battlers and fighters. It'd be useful for to liven up that dul party AND to evade an incoming attack of any sort. (remember, as Appalachia taught us, skillful evasive manuveurs are nealry impossible to fight against)

Dink, I'm getting super distracted by rocky's ridiculous yet hillarious antics and mediocre acting skills. Did they ever even tell how these guys came into the picture?

Everyone else: Botany and dancing are great needs, to be sure, but what of the other battlers and fighters with even more special needs....say, blind students?

Professor Edge would teach a special needs class with some clever name that I'm having trouble coming up with, like, maybe.....Second Sight 201....or..something

Oh, how about Prof. Jedidiah and his urban survival class. "How to do anything they can do in a home while you're on the street-using only a tarp and coconut"

Oh, man, don't I know it. That guy really bugs me in his dumb little red 90s tank top. "Are you sure you just don't want to have fun?" The cheese!

Professor Edge? Hmm, yes, that's a good one. Except I can see him having problems manuevering around the classroom, what with all the hazardous desks, chalk boards, projectors...("I thought I put that away!")

I think Mr. Smith (unfortunately, he never recieved the esteemed title of 'professor') would teach voice lessons. Truly. Can't you see him in front of a choir, having everyone warm up with a good hearty laugh?

I think Agent Y should teach an acting class or something. His amazing undercover skills (as a farmer) make it evident that he is a master of disguise....

I think Basil Forkner would teach theatre...I'm not sure why, he just seems like a showy, kind of shakespearean type of guy, plus he's got the whole big appearence act down pretty well...

I think Dragon would teach some sort of outdoorsy, survival like class. Like "Old People of the Woods" or something. Long, gray hair growth would be a prerequisite.

Dink again: Haha, that whole running back and forth with the frisbee was simutaneously making me laugh really hard and hate him even more.

As for Professor Edge, that whole accident with the tripod was back when he still needed training. Now that his Edge Vision is fully functional, he would have no problem. Might be hazardous for new students though.

Oh, man...Mr. Smith giving voice lessons is also cracking me up. I can almost hear him leading the choir in a hearty rendition of "Home on the Range"

And urban survival: That would be a super useful class. Just hope the Prof isn't drinking that rubbing alcohol or whatever it was right before he teaches.

How 'bout Captain Jackson? I think he would teach....The three step method, or whatever it's called. That's all. It would probably take an entire semester to master it.....Actually, I think it would be three separate classes, one for each step, 101, 201, 301

lets see here...I think Kortzakoff could teach foriegn languages, like Bahoonics (native language of the Russian Bahoonies of course)

Ummm, Coon Skin Kurt could teach a supplement class to Dr. Chief, maybe something like "Growing trees with love: the whip and the watering can"

AND, The Pharoah would be in control of all janitorial services, maybe teaching a plumbing class on the side...

For some reason, I can see those two brawny guys from the second Insanity Tim episode maybe just being some sort of confidential counsellors for all the battler fighters' emotional needs. It's making me laugh.

Ohhh, that'd be horrible, I dunno if those guys should be in charge of the emotional needs of the young fighters...crazy guys

(this is a great game, but we're gonna run out of people soon!)

Oh, of course, Jim Baldwin would teach band class and lead the marching band out before major battles (or fights for that matter)

That's a good one. I was trying to think of what they might do....Although, they don't seem to be very good at resolving conflict ( "I want to take them to the boss!!").

Coonskin Kurt...Janitor and teacher of Advanced Armaments......and a Horticulture class (maybe not horticulture, judging from his trees...I mean, 20 years, and that's all he's got?)

Nevermind. I missed Chris' whole post about Coonskin Kurt and the Pharaoh. The pharaoh would make a much better janitor. I don't know what I was thinking.

I stick by the Armaments class though. All those rakes and sticks and bows and things. He'd be perfect for that class

Well, what about our friend, Action? I'm pretty sure he'd be some sort of battler-fighter-costume-fashion-constultant-teacher. The world would be a better place if our batter-fighters were as well dressed as he, with his hat and all. Plus, he always knows to carry a spare.

On that note, I think I'm off to bed.

Oh, thats true, I forgot all that stuff that he had, ahaha

How about.....Samurai Gukido. Good ol' Proffesor G. would teach sword handling techniques, and he'd also help out printing off papers and stuff for the secretaries since that is his area of expertise.

Oh, so many good ideas....the great thing about this game is that when we run out of characters, we can just change our what if question to something else....like....what if the characters of action jones ran a country...or....what if they....um...ran a circus?

Anyway...I, too, must bid farewell to forumness...I'll think about this more later...goodnight all.

I always thought Samurai Gukido would teach the choir, with his great falsetta voice and all.

Action/Azerberjan could teach Technology Integration (computers, bionic parts, and the like).

Crony #1 could be the gym teacher, specializing in exercise and working out.

Black Baron could teach Suprise Entrances, and Blue Baron and the Chief could co-teach the Suprise Exits class.

Oh, and here's another "What if?"

What if the characters in the movie are dead? Do they still teach lessons?

Sure they do. I think....maybe....yeah. As long as we don't care about this being logical. I know I don't. Anyone else?

In fact, I think Insanity Tim and his clone should both teach that dance class. He can be his own dance partner.

And he wouldn't have the slightest inhibitions towards doing more sketchy dances with even another male dancer. For shame!

We all love our Insanity.

Looking back over all the old threads...this one almost wins them all, for me. Many good laughs.

I'm glad the threadhood of this situation appeases you!