Q&A Time with the Historian

In case you didn't know, the Third Law of Question states, "For every question, there is an equal and opposite answer." So, bring your queries here. Answers will be provided.

okay, first off...who are you? i don't think that i know you, but apparently edge and i don't know our own pasts even.

Well, I'm just an humble historian with a few very helpful connections. Beyond that, I do not have permission to directly disclose any information.

Mr Historian, who drew that cool picture you have for your avatar?

Well, this representation of my face was so kindly provided by this forum. You might notice that if you go to the profile link above, you can access your avatar page. From there, you can select a picture for your avatar from a gallery. That is where I got this drawing.

Ahhh. Thats pretty cool i must say. So could i ask you any question about action jones whatsoever and you would know the answer?

I may have to look it up in the archives, or it may not have happened yet in the Action Jones universe. Other than that, though, I can get you the information you seek. For a price, of course...

Price eh? What sort of price?

Well, since you are out of the reach of my agency , we won't be able to collect on anything you offer. In your case, the price I was exacting was just a witty quip. Or, maybe not so witty.

Oh a witty quip, well im sure with thought and time i can come up with a quip that is most witty. Ted Kennedy----> Well that was more of an observation and not so much a witty quip.But its all i can think of at the moment.

Any new questions since the Season II Finale, The Awakening, has come out?

Analysis, comments, suggestions for next season, and complaints can all be brought here.

Samauri Gukido......where did he go? I wonder.....

(This movie is wonderful)

No one has the answer to that question except for Azerberjan. Unfortunately, Azerberjan's memory was stored in a separate compartment in Action Jones' mind, so the information you seek may have been corrupted or lost since Action's awakening. Nevertheless, we have agents searching in places previously familiar to or mentioned by the Azerberjan/Action combo. Such places include the Trans-Siberian, the Sub-Saharan Antarctic, and a few other undisclosed locations.

There are a few theories as to what might have happened to Samurai Gukido. Two possible theories are:
- #1 Azerberjan and Gukido battled it out, Gukido died, and Azerberjan transported back to Kortzakoff.
- #2 As Azerberjan and Gukido warped, they were split and ended up in two different locations.

Of course, the destination of the warp was either random (in which case, we would have small chance of finding Gukido, regardless which theory you hold to, though this fits pretty well with Theory #2) or determined by Azerberjan (Theory #1 Gukido's body would be at the destination - Theory #2 Azerberjan would have sent Gukido away from himself in order to escape).

Another question. What about the Pharaoh of Flush? What happened to him?

Well, the Pharoah is truly an enigma. We have no record of his whereabouts or doings previous to his invasion into Kookaburra Inc. So far, we have had no leads as to where he might have warped to. Nevertheless, I predict that we have not seen the last of the Pharoah. He has a strange tendency to appear when you least expect him, so prepare your mind and your bowels for anything. Due to his unpredictability and our lack of clues, I am afraid any official speculation I offer you would merely be much ado about nothing and only serve to confuse or mislead.

Will Havic Jack be reappearing any time soon? I thought he was going to be the new replacement for Action, but that theory was quickly proven wrong.

Yes, I wonder the same about Havoc Jack. I also have another question, had the chief become good? Or is he still bad as ever? Another question, will the chief ever get his beard trimmed? And last question at least for now what of Smith? What is up with him? Is he another enigma?

There my burning questions have been asked and now I await an answer.

As the Historian, it is my job to explain present circumstances and the past. I may offer predictions about the future, but those predictions are only extrapolated from what I see happening now. We all know life throws curveballs, so anything can happen. Therefore, I usually choose not to offer my speculations on the future.

Instead of telling you if Havoc Jack will be back or not, which I do not know, I can tell you what he is up to. After defeating Jenga Man, Smith, and Hernando, the Battler and Fighter Academy awarded Havoc his diploma for his heroic bravery and the demonstration of his two-fingered strike mastery. Upon graduation, Havoc has moved to his own apartment, where he is trying his hand at the stock market. From all appearances, it seems he has lost all interest in fighting. Only time will tell if he will be back.

I can tell you that the Chief has been evil in his past and that he seems to have turned from his ways in the past few months, but you already knew that. So it seems that you are asking if he will be permanently good. Some of my agents we have shadowing the Chief report yes, some no. I think the Chief is as unpredictable as ever, so it must be left at that. As to his beard, that is the Chief's personal hygiene preference, although I think it is getting a bit unruly. Every time I see it, it reminds me of a crazy hermit living in a forest.

No, Smith is not an enigma, but a warped individual who, in his insanity, is obsessed with meddling in the affairs of battlers and fighters, usually striking at the weakened, inexperienced, and untrained. I believe he wishes to make chaos of present world circumstances by eliminating those who try to bring reason, harmony, and truth to society. He has not succeeded in his plot yet, but has only made battlers and fighters prove their skill, necessity, and worth.

That and he plays a mean game of hide and seek.

You are correct dear Action, Smith does play a mean game of hide and seek. At least from what I've observed. (Not talking from experience here.)

Thanks be to the uber cool historian for answering my questions to the best of his ability. Now I feel I must ploy you with yet another question... When Action, Chief and Edge parted ways at the end of the finale where were they heading off too? Or is that something unknown and to be speculated?

Well, only Chief and Insanity declared where they were heading. Chief is reported to have said that he left for the mountains, but he may or may not be trusted. Insanity Tim, on the other hand, set off to explore the world. Who knows where that might take him?

Even though Edge and Action did not explicitly say where they were going, we can guess with some certainty where their destinations are. We must assume that Edge left to relax in his usual recovery spot, his wooded sanctuary. Action Jones never did make it to the Himalayas, where he planned on starting a new life. Instead, he came across Kortzakoff outside of Vladenhozen in the Russian Bahoonies on his way to Tibet. There, Kortzakoff placed him under mind control and used him as the carrier of the Azerberjan Robot technology. Since escaping mind control, he likely plans on continuing his journey to his new life.

Since I love my readers so much, I feel obligated to keep you all posted on the latest breaking news. I had an agent following Action Jones report back to me today. Evidently, Action has been traveling away from the Himalayas. His current path has him on track to arrive at Kookaburra Incorporated Headquarters. Perhaps he's heading back to the Battler and Fighter Academy? We'll see...

I think I'm lost...

Hey, shouldn't you be on your journey away from Russia right now? What are you doing on the internet?

I think he just told you he's lost....